(Bill Condon, 2011)
Since this is a largely true story about my own life I wanted to like it. . . but oh man! All the "sensual" (aka sex) scenes where almost laugh out loud hilarious because they were so self-consciously constructed, earnest and posed. Each scene was overly long and seemed to comprise most of the movie. Bella Swan marries Edward Cullen and on their first night of lovemaking she conceives the impossible vampbaby which then threatens to kill her because vampbabies grow up real fast in utero. Blah, Blah why isn't Jacob winning in this story? Then the werewolves want to eat the hybrid baby because it is dangerous or something dumb and then wait are you still here? Ugh. I like the cast somehow. . . I do think Pattinson looks like a vampire, K-stew is gawky and awkward and hot somehow, I think Ashley Greene is awesome, Billy Burke plays a great dad, Taylor Lautner is Lava Boy, Jackson Rathbone is Sokka, oh wait Kellan Lutz is in Immortals, Peter Facinelli and Elizabeth Reaser really are vampires-- so the cast works. . . baby grows up yawn. Could have called it Breaking Yawn. I also like Julia Jones as Leah Clearwater although she has a minimal role. Gasp! too long for whatcha get. Much like this review(4/7)
Trailer
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